You probably don’t think twice about the words you use during an argument. Most couples assume a little tension is normal, even healthy. But what if certain everyday phrases are slowly eroding trust without you noticing?
Communication experts warn that small verbal habits can snowball into deep emotional distance.
And according to psychologist Jeffrey Bernstein, who writes for Psychology Today, repeated dismissive language is one of the fastest ways to damage intimacy.
The danger in everyday words
Disagreements are inevitable. What matters is how couples handle them. Research in relationship psychology consistently shows that feeling unheard or belittled activates stress responses and weakens emotional bonds over time.
Also read: Are artificial sweeteners harmful? Eight-year study shows effect on the brain
Bernstein, a couples counselor and author, points out that certain expressions signal dismissal rather than curiosity. When they become habits, they create resentment instead of resolution.
The three phrases to avoid
While they may sound harmless, experts say these statements can be especially harmful when repeated:
- You’re overreacting
- It’s not a big deal
- You’re too sensitive
Each of these shifts the focus away from the issue and onto your partner’s emotional response. Instead of solving a conflict, it invalidates their experience and escalates tension.
Relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman has long found that contempt and defensiveness are strong predictors of breakups. Dismissive language tends to fuel both.
Also read: Scientists challenge claim of “spoonful” of plastic in the human brain
Why it matters
In the UK, divorce rates remain significant, with official statistics showing that thousands of marriages end each year.
While every relationship is unique, communication patterns often play a central role in whether couples stay connected or drift apart.
The solution is not avoiding disagreements, but handling them with respect. Replacing dismissal with curiosity and empathy can turn arguments into opportunities for understanding.
Before your next conflict spirals, listen carefully to the phrases that come out automatically. They might be shaping your relationship more than you realise.
Also read: Traveling with a vape? Here it could lead to prison
Sources: LADbible
Also read: Your daily diet may increase the risk of heart attack by 47 percent